HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
