Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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