Don't you send me to vm
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
