It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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