i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
