we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
