Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
