I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
