Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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