i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
