I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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