Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The air taste purple.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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