you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
