you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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