I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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