i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
