I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
