My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
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