I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
