Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
