I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
