Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
