i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
operation harelip BJ is a go
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
FUCK WHALES
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
