Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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