i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
