Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
