I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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