my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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