Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
