I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
