i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
