I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
