Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
