We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
false alarm, still single
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
