And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
