im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
