i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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