he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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