You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
