the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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