Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
