Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I can't turn off my feet"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
