You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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