did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
