we're blogging at a bar
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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