i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
