All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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