I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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