Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize
