This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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