I accidentally had phone sex last night
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
