dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
