I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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