had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
