There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
